i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
