My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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