I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Can I color on your dick again?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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