Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
