I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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