I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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