Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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