The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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