ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
