Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize