he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
