Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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