oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
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that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
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I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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