Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
