hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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