i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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