so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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