sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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