So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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