whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
