My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Randomize