is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
no you cant smoke seaweed
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
