pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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