Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
