I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
