when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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