I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
