How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
nutella sex= disaster
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
