I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
