all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
