Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
