she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
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she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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