This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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