Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
