You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
