Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
