Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Randomize