Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
