The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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