i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize