I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
