this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I could fuck to npr.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
