This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
