Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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