Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It was confusing and full of hummus
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
