i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
