Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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