i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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