Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Randomize
