when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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