Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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