Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
