He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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