I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
