My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
