Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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