yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
