That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
