then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
