That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
